when i was 5: i once thought you were my role model, one that i could look up to. a person that i can rely on. blame it on all the fairy tales and advices your parents give " be good to one another, because next time you have to rely on each other". then, you taught me to do something that made me regret for my entire life.
when i was 8: i was afraid of you, bullying, beating, teaching me things that you want to do but you know you shouldn't. you had a smooth tongue, i did not, i do not know how to argue, but you always knew how to have the last words to make me think "hmmm, i think she is right" i still looked to you for advices and teachings because we were so close and by asking our parents, it was just not the right thing to do then, or we may even get a beating for asking them. you then burnt my hand.
when i was 10-14: i knew that whatever you taught me and tell me what i should do is wrong. i know that i should learn from you, i know that i cannot trust you anymore, considering the many times that you cause me hurt and pain. when i help you clean your forever messy table, you scream and shout at me for messing your things but when in fact the sight of junk lying everywhere irks me. however, i can't help but listen to you, do according to your will because you will curse and swear infront of me, if i did the opposite of what you tell me to. however, i would like to thank you for making me hate vulgarities, and to not learn from those who speak of such hurtful and deceitful words.
15-now: thanks to the bible: "thou shall not be afraid of anyone but ME. " and my mum:" she uses vulgarities to hide the flaws that she has" and also, through experience:" everyone is a normal human being, with their own lives, it depends on how you want to view that person, a a scary monster, a lonely person, or just simply one that is so self centered." so now, i would just like to view you as a lonely and self centered person who just simply thinks about herself only. sometimes i pity your partner next time, but at least i know for sure, if i had a choice, i would not want to live with you anymore. when i was in primary school, i always couldn't wait for you to get married, get a job, and most importantly, LEAVE HOME. it was that bad.
but now, it doesn't matter if you stay or not, because we both have our own lives and i try to avoid getting you angry.
my entire journey with you, was bitter and sweet, though it was majority bitter, i don't always harp on the bad things like you do, i always wish that we can be like we were: playing barbie dolls at our double decker beds. (:
so now, i know you do things that i totally dislike, but in order not to make either of us unhappy, i just pretend that i didn't see anything. and i really mean, ANYTHING: that includes: a wardrobe full of YOUR clothes and you totally put my clothes somewhere, a cupboard full of YOUR things, and you throw my things away without consulting me, your table, that OVERFLOWS onto my table, messing my things up.
but yesterday, was too much, i mean, my things is fine when you want to put it somewhere, since i THOUGHT that the cupboards is a SHARED cupboard, so putting only COMMON things inside, so i try to only put as minimal things as POSSIBLE. but now that you put your things over the COMMON things, don't you think you are just TOO much?! it's like, this entire SHARED room has become YOURS. i mean the floor is taken up by YOU already, how much MORE space do you want?! this ENTIRE HOUSE?! over your dead body. just stop getting impulses to buy so many things using SOMEONE else's money.
in conclusion, i guess that's all i have to say:
"a person can be viewed differently depending on how you wish to view him or her"
